Through A Glass Door Darkly

Pete Philipps

— Recently one of the doors in our sunroom, which opens to a deck, became foggy, the result of a leak in the seal between the two thermal panes. I began to look for someone to fix it, and a few days later found the business card of an individual in our mailbox who seemed to fit the bill. I made an appointment, he appeared promptly the next day, and took copious measurements. Unfortunately, his estimate was higher than I had bargained for, as seems to be the norm these days.

Serendipitously, the next day our mailbox had another advertisement from a door-and-window company. I made a date for a technician to come and give us an estimate, and he came the following day. Through A Glass Door Darkly

I’ll call him TS, for tall and stupid. This is how the visit went, after he put on a mask (at my request) and strode through the house to the sunroom.

TS: This room is awesome.

PP: There it is [I point to the foggy door]

TS: How old is this?

PP: About thirty years.

TS: Wow. [He takes out a metal measuring tape and starts to measure the width of the two doors.]

PP: I just want the glass in the one door replaced.

TS: [Measures the entire frame, fumbling with the tape like an amateur.] This is really big.

PP: I just want an estimate of what it would cost to replace the foggy glass.

TS: [Measuring the height of the doors, but can’t seem to keep the tape in place.] How long have you lived here?

PP: Fifty years.

TS: Do you want to keep the same frame color?

PP: Look, I just want to replace the foggy glass.

TS: What brought you to the DC area?

PP: Work.

TS: Do you want the door latch the same color?

PP: What I want is to replace the foggy glass.

TS: [Unintelligible except for the word “party.”]

PP: The woman I made the appointment with said something about a party, but I didn’t understand what she meant.

TS: Are you alone?

PP: No, my wife is upstairs.

TS: Are you the party that makes decisions?

PP: Yes.

TS: Can we sit down somewhere—?

PP: I don’t have to sit. I just want an estimate for the foggy door.

TS: Do you mind if I take some pictures?

PP: No, go ahead.

TS: [Takes interior and exterior photos of both doors and shows them to me.]

PP: Can you give me an estimate?

TS: Do you have other estimates?

PP: Yes.

TS: What are they?

PP: I’m not going to tell you.

TS: [Shows me the pictures again and remeasures, without handling the tape measure properly.]

PP: I am only interested in replacing that (points) to foggy glass.

TS: [Studies his tablet.] 

PP: Do you have an estimate?

TS: [Shows me the tablet with an estimate of $1,950.}

PP:  Sorry, but that’s far too high.

TS: Is your other estimate lower?

PP: Yes, a lot lower.

TS: How much lower?

PP: Under $1,000.

TS: [Looks stunned]. Under $1,000?

PP: Yes.

TS: [Closes his tablet and starts to leave.] Good luck. 

PP: [Thanks him and walks TS to the door.]

End of story, thought I. But TS evidently had second thoughts. The next day he emailed me a revised estimate: $9,749.00